My Perception is Based on Your Actions

“I’m not like that at all.”

“You think you have me pegged, but you don’t.”

“That’s not something I would do.”

“Your perception of me is completely off-base.”

Sound familiar?

I’m sure you have heard one of these or some form of one of these at least once. Chances are, you have heard it multiple times from the same person. It makes me shake my head and laugh when people say this to me. What they don’t seem to realize is this is how they have presented themselves to me.

Most of us were taught that “actions speak louder than words”. Your perception of someone is based mostly on their actions. It’s not what they say, but how they say it that affects the way you see them.

This might be hypothetical or it might be true, but here is a scenario:

You let your daughter stay at the hotel with her Grandparents when they come into town. The next day, they tell you they’re exhausted because your child stays up “so late”. She snores so they were awake, worried she might have sleep apnea. She doesn’t like breakfast much. She likes weird tv shows. She wants to talk about Minecraft all the time.

They then ask to take her for a few days. Um, no. You say they couldn’t even handle her for one night so how can they be trusted for a few days? They lose their minds, claiming they had a great time and how dare I accuse them of not having fun with their grandchild.

Wait. Back up the truck. You said you were exhausted and complained about everything my kid said and did. How was I supposed to glean “we had a blast” from all the griping?

A different scenario: Those who claim not to like drama.

You will know who doesn’t like drama because they will stay away from it. They don’t ask a zillion questions. They don’t tell everyone else. Truth be told, the more you claim to “hate” drama, the less likely I am to believe you.

“I hate drama, but did you hear (insert person) did (insert action)?”

“I can’t be bothered with it all. (Repeat what is going on). I’m just tired of the drama with her. (Repeat yet again what’s going on).”

“I heard she did this to me so I retaliated. This is funny…. (insert insane story)”

If it doesn’t involve me, I don’t want to know. If it is going to end up affecting me, I’d like a courtesy alert, but I don’t need details unless I ask for them.

You don’t like “drama”? Stop causing it!

Reality check: yes, there are some people that are so delusional that they don’t even believe you see them as anything but perfect. Leave them in their bubble. They like it there. They spend their days petting their unicorn and plucking dollars off their money tree.

Bottom line? If you feel other people’s perception of you is “way off” according to you, perhaps it’s time to rethink your attitude and make some adjustments.