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Fear of being judged and caring about what others think about us is a huge issue for most people.
So many try to curate the “perfect life” for social media based on consider how they think people will view our house, car, clothes, career, and vacation photo.
How many people are actually living an authentic life versus just living to try and impress their peers?
This is a trap.
At the end of the day, living your life just to impress others will leave you feeling empty and angry. It’s a façade that’s hard to keep up.
The best way to avoid the temptation to impress others is to overcome the fear of being judged and live life on your own terms.
Here are some strategies:
Stop Judging others
When you check your own behavior, it’s easier to not worry about the same behavior from others.
Naturally, you assume the things you do and think about are the same things other people do and think about, but quite frankly, that’s not always the case.
know this: Your inner critic is a liar
We would be a lot less worried about other people judging us if we just didn’t think about it.
Thoughts that pop into your mind are beyond your control, but you do have the power to direct your attention towards more supportive and helpful thoughts.
If you catch yourself consumed by negative thoughts, think about something positive instead.
Here is a cute face to help you out:
It’s my eldest Pug, Jack (16), in a bow tie.
Dump the Judges
Okay that sounds a bit drastic and reminded me of that line in “Clueless”, but why in the world would you want someone like that in your life?
Set boundaries! Like I explained in THIS POST, boundaries are important.
Have a chat with that person and let them know that you’re done tolerating their behavior. You don’t need to offer reasons, but if they ask, simply tell them this is a boundary you’re putting in place.
If they refuse to change, LET. THEM. GO.
avoid comparing yourself to others
News flash: everyone is different!
You will either be too kind to or too hard on yourself because it’s IMPOSSIBLE to make comparisons that are 100% fair.
The easier and more meaningful approach is to compare yourself today to yourself in the past.
Are you making progress towards your goals?
If so, know you’re doing well. If not, you know what to do.
Remember: it's not about you
People that judge others have issues.
So why do they do it?
- They’re consumed with jealousy and seeking either attention or narcissistic fuel
- They’re generally a miserable cow
- Your success just further highlights their lack of success and/or failure
Their reasons are their own and may never be made known to you, but regardless, try your best to ignore them and move on.
be a savage - Activate beast mode
You might FEEL weak and fragile, but YOU. ARE. NOT.
You’re tougher at your core than you think. Your ancestors were tough in their time and you’re the same in yours.
you will be judged no matter what
Every single thing you do and say will be appreciated by some and scorned by others.
Trying to placate everyone is a game you can’t win, so it’s best if you just refuse to play.
Take a look at this meme for a second. Let the message sink in. I usually resize photos, but I felt this needed to be full size to make it easier to read.
Basically, it shows people will always find a reason to run their mouths about what you’re doing. Just do what you feel is best because you’re going to be judged either way.
Some people are just unhappy and that causes them to want everyone around them to be just as unhappy.
Don’t give them what they want.
The fear of being judged can cripple your happiness and sense of fulfillment if you let it.
People are going to judge you, but it won’t matter to you now.
The opinions of 99% of the people you know are irrelevant. Your opinion of yourself trumps what anyone else thinks.
Spend your time creating and building your life the way you want it instead of worrying about what others think.
Living life on your own terms helps overcome your fear of being judged and quite frankly, THAT’S the way to live!