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The words that people say to us can have a lasting effect, leaving us feeling powerless and vulnerable. The words your parents, guardians or trusted adults said to you growing up (the good, the bad and the ugly) become your inner voice as you grow into and move through adulthood.
Over time, the things that people say to us can shape our own opinion of ourselves.
This can lead to a fear of being judged, which if we are not careful, can negatively impact:
- Social situations
Let’s discuss some techniques to overcome this fear and get your self-esteem back on track:
learn your strengths & limitations
Once you know your own strengths and limitations, you’re be less likely to be affected by other people’s words.
Their opinions become irrelevant, since you know what you are capable of.
Have confidence in your own ability, but be aware of what you cannot do.
Acknowledge: It Doesn't have to be perfect
Human perfection is a myth.
You can excel at your tasks without them being perfect.
As they say: “Done is better than perfect.”
Rather than focusing on any imperfections, know this:
- you are doing the best that you can
- your best is good enough
Understand: People Will Talk
Some opinions will please you and others won’t.
People always have something to say.. and it is usually based on a projection of their own fears.
What should matter most is YOUR opinion of you.
be aware & beware your inner critic
That little voice in your own head can become deafening at times, especially when you are trying to overcome childhood trauma.
It’s important you take the time to recognize when negative thoughts start to crop up.
Once you start to recognize what triggers these negative thoughts, you can take the necessary steps to change them into positive ones.
make YOU a priority
When you allow someone else’s judgement to cloud your own perceptions, you actually give that person power and priority over your life.
Take back that control by recognizing that YOU are YOUR priority, not them.
invest in YOU
Enhance your personal growth and well-being by doing more of what you enjoy doing.
Take time for self-care. I struggled with taking time for myself for years. I felt selfish. Eventually, I learned that it was necessary. Sometimes, I can only get 5 minutes of deep breaths and/or meditation in everyday.. and that’s okay!
The better you treat yourself, the better others will treat you, thus lessening your fear of their judgement.
Getting criticized sucks and it hurts.
Acknowledge it. Accept that the criticism most likely comes from a place of that person’s fear. They don’t understand your why. They don’t get it.
Next time someone starts spewing nonsense, push it to the back of your mind. In time, it will cause the memory to fade.
There is only so much room in your brain for memories. Ensure you don’t give space to the negative thoughts. Give priority to positive thinking.
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!
Look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself that you are good enough.
Practice this exercise several times each day, whenever you’re in front of a mirror.
Repeat it as often as necessary on and off throughout your day, especially if you start to feel those pangs of self-doubt.
Eventually, your mind will automatically start to gravitate towards the positive and you’ll be reminded of how awesome you are every time you catch your own reflection.
How cool is that?
Consistent, positive reassurance helps overcome the fear of failure and being judged.
Sooooo.. before you let fear of judgement affect your life in a negative manner, try some of these tips.
You’ll be glad you did!