Confession: I’m a recovering people pleaser. I was a “yes” person.. until I realized that I will never get back what I put out there.
No matter how many times I helped people, they would disappear if I needed anything.
You’ll see others like me in every volunteer group:
There is usually one in every well run office too. They are the “go to” person or the “go for” because we always make ourselves available, no matter the personal cost.
Fact: these people are often stressed, overwhelmed, and have a low self esteem.
Many people-pleasers say yes to every single ask of them without even thinking. I mean, why would we say no to someone in need? The thing is: they’ll figure things out if you’re not available 100% of the time.
One of the biggest reasons you need to learn how to say “no” is because doing everything for everyone is a huge time sucker.
Here’s what you do:
- Weigh the pros & cons to determine if it’s worth being involved
- Have criteria for a yes
- Don’t let them manipulate you
- Ask yourself if doing this will get you closer to your goals
- Check your calendar to see if you’re even available
Whatever the task may be, they might be trying to get you to say yes because none of them want to do it.
Say yes with enthusiasm. Say no without guilt.
Now you need to take stock and start both identifying and eliminating time wasters.
Only you can truly determine what a time sucker is and what’s not.
For some people spending five minutes on social media is a time suck, but it might be how you schedule your downtime.
It’s your time! If you want to reach the goals you set for yourself, you’ll need to choose what tasks you want to do and what responsibilities you don’t want to keep up.