38.

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I’ll be completely honest: my 37th year of life broke me.

[Tweet “Crazy stuff has always happened in my life, but this year was pivotal for me! ’38’ – TinaBsWorld.com”]

I had to rethink who I was and honestly, that had nothing to do with my age.

Let me give you a breakdown of my year:

The puberty fairy came in like a bulldozer.

Oh lord those tweenage hormones!! Mini went through her “first moon” in January. We had every intention of throwing her one of those trendy “first moon” parties because we thought they were hilarious, but..

I ended up in the hospital.

Over a tooth. Yep, you read that right. My back teeth abscessed so badly, it started pushing into my throat. I was having difficulty eating and drinking. My face. was. HUGE. I couldn’t even see my neck anymore. Scary stuff! I was sent to the ER and ended up being admitted for two days, on aggressive antibiotics. The ER nurse told me he’d never seen a dental patient be admitted. He clearly doesn’t know me, the Queen of “I’ve Never Seen This Before”. HA!

My last grandparent passed away.

It was like a morbid right of passage. I loved all my grandparents.. well the ones I knew anyway. They were all a part of my life in one way or another. I feel bad for people who don’t get to know their grandparents. Old people have the best stories! They tell you things you’ve only read about in history class. It’s fascinating hearing it from a personal point of view.

I finally finished the book –

“When You and Your Mother Can’t Be Friends” by Victoria Secunda.

It changed my life! I’m kinda peeved at myself that it took so long for me to finally get through it. It opened my eyes and cleared up so much of the stuff I’ve been through. If you have ever dealt with a narcissist, no matter who it was, this book will help you. If I ever met Victoria, I would tearfully thank her and give her the biggest hug. When you’re stuck and confused, you look for things that pull you out of that. This book did that for me.

Thanks to Victoria’s book, I realized why my marriage was ending.

He is a narcissist, raised by two of them. This was the biggest epiphany of all. It’s quite a blow to the ego to realize I was THIS wrong about someone. That was humbling. I’d been so stubborn, ignoring red flags the whole time, just trusting him. There were other things that happened with him that I don’t care to get into. It’s all a part of the breaking process.

My bright spot this past year?

Mini and I are closer than ever. She displayed such a beautiful maturity and grace through everything that happened. She has such a wonderful soul and I couldn’t be more honored to be her mother. My peoples tell me to pat myself on the back for that as it says I’m nailing this parenting thing!

Turning 38 means turning over a new leaf and moving forward.

It’s time to let go of things that I held onto for so long. There are a few things I want to accomplish before I turn 40 and I’m not going to be able to get them done if I am busy wallowing in self pity and surrounding myself with people who don’t want what’s best for me.

Here’s to new beginnings!