I don’t know why nostalgia has been punching me in the gut lately. The losses I have experienced over the years have seemed to be hitting me the most in the past few months or so. I’ve cried so many times, I’ve lost count. I’m not really a crier.
Last week, I was at Target with Mini (I know – what was I thinking right?) and I happened upon the Christmas special edition cookie display. I was ecstatic to find the tins of Pirouette sticks. I love them in hot chocolate and I wanted Mini to try them. She loves them now as much as I do 🙂
I found the usual fudge-covered Oreos and colored sugar cookies, but one box (bag?) stood out..
To some people, it’s a box (again – bag?) of Linzer Tarts. To me, it was a memory. As Mini impatiently asked me to hurry up and decide, I just stared and tried not to cry.
Here’s why: Grandma and Grandpa F (my adopted mom’s parents) lived in Oregon. They tried to see us as often as possible, but we all know flying in/out of NY is expensive. Every time they came to town, Grandpa would drive to the bakery every morning and get linzer tarts. If we were awake and dressed, we got to go with him. Sometimes, he bought us a small cookie, as long as we “promised” not to tell Mom or Dad. That bakery has since become a bagel place and it was sad to see the place go.
I have always associated linzer tarts with Grandpa. When I walk into a bakery and see them, I smile. Needless to say, I bought the bag. They weren’t bakery-fresh good, but they were just good enough for the memory.
On Christmas Eve, I was waiting in line at our local bakery with Mini, who was again getting impatient. All in all, she did well, chatting with other people also waiting in line and commenting on the beautiful cookie trays. When it was finally our turn, I was disappointed there were no tarts out. As the counter girl was boxing my cake (yellow with chocolate fudge buttercream in case you were curious), I asked for a cookie since Mini was being so well-behaved. When she got the cookie, a tray of fresh linzer tarts came out.
You bet your Christmas tree I got one! It was as delicious as I remember them being 🙂
Merry Christmas in Heaven to my Grandpa, Grandma, Mother and all the others I’ve had to say good-bye to over the years. I love and miss you all. Thank you for sending me little reminders that you’re still with me..
I hope everyone had an awesome holiday!